Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Listen to your heartbeat and dance...

Listen to your heartbeat and dance...

(winner)

OK, I just tried that. I listened to my heartbeat, then started dancing. The thing is, as soon as I started dancing, I could no longer hear my heartbeat. Maybe I could solve that with a stethoscope, but I have to say: the idea of dancing while wearing a stethoscope and listening to my heart sounds pretty lame.

That's just the most minor of the potential problems I see arising with this activity.

As I dance, my heart rate is going to increase. As my heart rate increases, I'm going to have dance faster. This listen-dance feedback loop is going to feed on itself 'til I hit my VO2 max, at which point I will collapse on the floor, and most likely vomit.

Is that whay you want, you twisted, sadistic bastards at Dove's?

Well, is it?

35 Comments:

Anonymous Jim Argeropoulos said...

While your feet on the pedals dance

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and confuse the hell out of your date.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...until the nice men in the van come to pick you up.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Nick said...

For when the music stops, you're dead.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...but don't expect anything larger than a one.

4:15 PM  
Blogger geoff.appleby said...

...the 'I'm having a heart attack' shuffle.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Explanations said...

That is what you're doing, right?

Because the waitress wanted to call 911...

10:17 AM  
Anonymous fatty said...

OK, I just tried that. I listened to my heartbeat, then started dancing. The thing is, as soon as I started dancing, I could no longer hear my heartbeat. Maybe I could solve that with a stethoscope, but I have to say: the idea of dancing while wearing a stethoscope and listening to my heart sounds pretty lame.

That's just the most minor of the potential problems I see arising with this activity.

As I dance, my heart rate is going to increase. As my heart rate increases, I'm going to have dance faster. This listen-dance feedback loop is going to feed on itself 'til I hit my VO2 max, at which point I will collapse on the floor, and most likely vomit.

Is that whay you want, you twisted, sadistic bastards at Dove's?

Well, is it?

10:21 PM  
Anonymous tweedledopey said...

My sister was a champion tap dancer. She has arrythmia. This really isn't funny! C'mon! Stop lauging!

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Fatty said...

I vote for me. Sorry, I just do.

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Wife PhC said...

I vote for Fatty

12:37 PM  
Blogger geoff.appleby said...

I vote for fatty.

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